I believe that children grow well when they have routine. It gives them security, helps them to feel they are part of something, it teaches discipline and as they grow, they are empowered to play their part in a family’s routine. From the day our babies were born, Gareth and I committed to creating routines for them.  In the beginning it was essentially for sleeping, eating and playing. A family where both children are in school, both parents are working, you’re members of a church, you excercise, own a dog, shop online, have a garden, a routine is essential. As our children were trained from birth to embrace routine, they have generally been happy and secure in the rhythm and flow of Team Cowles. That is until February, when the routine began to be systematically disestablished. Gareth was offered a job in the UK, which coincided with family news that convinced us it was time to go back. Once the decision was made, operation ‘all-change’ began. We told the children we were moving back as …

When you emigrate, it’s like an adventure.  At least it was for us.  It’s daunting for sure, but the excitement of living in a new country, discovering a whole other part of the world – that’s a special opportunity that we knew we were blessed to have.  Gareth had a great job offer and we were moving to New Zealand, where so many of our friends and family had visited, coming back with wonderful reviews of the scenery, the people, the food and way of life. We’d had a hard time bringing our two babies into the world, but they had arrived safely and we had our family.  I wanted to leave, because as a country girl at heart I felt claustrophic in a busy city and I wanted some space.  Ironically in the months leading up to our departure we had even less space.  Our house had sold quickly and so whilst we waited for the visas to go through we lodged with a family.  Their house was huge and they very generously gave us …

My family and I have just recently repatriated back to the UK.  We moved over to New Zealand in March 2012 when my husband got a job working on the infrastructure rebuild of Christchurch, after the major earthquakes of 2010 and 2011. When we left the UK, we had just lived through a really hard five years trying to get pregnant, doing IVF and then having two babies in quick succession.  Our babies were nearly one and just gone two when we began our long journey over to the other side of the world to begin a family adventure. We didn’t know how long we would stay in NZ for, as neither of us had ever stepped foot on the land of the long white cloud and we knew only a couple of people.  We committed to three years, but then within a couple of months I felt like we could stay there forever. We bought a house, joined a church, made friends, Gareth worked hard and loved every second of it and I picked …

A friend of mine is going through a REALLY tough time at the moment and she was telling me how someone had said to her that she had to see herself as her loved ones and friends see her. I’ve been thinking about that ever since, and it struck me that maybe she doesn’t know how her friends see her because we don’t always say what we think about our friends do we? I mean we might occasionally say something encouraging, empathise in a situation or pay a compliment but do we tell our friends all the reasons why we love them? So this is for you my friend, so you can see what I see. You light up the room when you are in it. You always look good in the outfits you wear, you put yourself together perfectly and you smell delicious. You obviously pay attention to the way that you look but it doesn’t consume you, you are natural, not vain or obsessed. You have lovely skin, pretty eyes and a dainty …

Just in case anyone was wondering, I’m still pondering my purpose.  I haven’t had a ‘this is the way you should go’ moment as yet, but I have been thinking about the concept of purpose a lot lately. I’ve discovered the search for purpose is not like it is when you are young or in a film with Robin Williams, where you stand on your desk, shouting ‘Carpe Diam’.  You can’t dream a dream and step into it the next day.  No, it’s more of a slow, steady, talk about it with your spouse for weeks and weeks, cautiously debating all the many intricate ripples that will come from a decision you might make in the near future that may or may not have a positive or negative effect on your career, your children’s lives, your bank account, your marriage, the happiness of your parents, your sanity!! For instance, finding work for me feels like a complicated maze of possibilities that could lead to the dream job but I have to test out twenty routes before I find the one that …

Recently The Telegraph voted New Zealand the best place to live.  And it’s not for the first time.  We moved here from the UK in 2012 and on a regular basis my husband and I say to each other that we feel like it’s a privilege that we get to live here.  If I were to vote on where is the best place to bring up children, I think I’d be hard pushed to find somewhere better than New Zealand. As we have just passed our 4th NZ anniversary, and the country did just get a major accolade, I thought I would write a list of all the things that remind me I am an English woman in New Zealand.  Not quite as sexy sounding as Sting but hopefully just as interesting. People are super friendly. Right from the minute we arrived in Christchurch airport and a lovely lady scooped up our tired selves and helped us stand after a 32 hour long trip, I have always been warmed by how friendly Kiwis are.  They love to …

I love the seasons.  For me, I see the wisdom of God every time there is a change of season.  Like it says in Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. It’s one of the things that attracted me to New Zealand when we were considering where we could move to.  This country has seasons, sometimes all four in one day. We’re coming out of Summer and into Autumn over here and when you live in the “Garden City” this becomes a true celebration of colour.  Our road is tree lined so it’s lovely walking underneath a canopy of reds and oranges for a month or so. I don’t have a favourite season.  Gareth gets practically euphoric when Spring comes with the long days and the promise of Summer soon approaching and my friend Jan named her business after her favourite season, Autumn.  I appreciate both of these and I also love the warmth and holiday feeling of Summer and the crispness of a frosty Winter …

I have been feeling quite unsettled recently.  I say recently because there is a good chance I have been feeling this way for years now, it’s just that having children, emigrating to the other side of the world and being a working mum can really distract you from anything that is going on below the surface. Of course I can’t say for sure, but I would like to think I am somewhere close (maybe a little further to go) to the middle of my life.  Therefore I am middle aged.  This is something that I have been pondering for a few months now as I get closer and closer to my 40th birthday.  What can I say, I don’t like getting old. I consider my peers, those that I know and those that I just observe at a distance, say on the Graham Norton couch or in a blog or a Facebook feed.  All grappling with their middle-aged status.  There seems to be a scale on how we all deal with it.  At one end we have those that arrive and find peace and …

You may have noticed that I have had a little blip in writing a blog everyday over the last three days? This was mainly due to me moving office and my computer being turned off for two days.  And also sticking my hand up at the last PTA meeting to help with a cake stall for school on Sunday … when will I learn??? I probably could have carried on with the blogs but when everything was boxed up or midway between rooms my brain just couldn’t find space to think creatively. The office is now upstairs in what was Jackson’s bedroom and the wee man is enjoying a more square shaped room with actual walls. I’ve been banging on to Gareth all summer, when the children have been rioting together upstairs until 10pm most nights, that we need to get Jackson into my office.  First of all we’re splitting the terrors up.  Jackson gets a room that he might actually like to play in on his own sometimes.  And the Lego and cars that have literally taken …