the things not said

I realise that “normal” is generally an unquantifiable entity in that, what is normal when life changes all the time?  But today, after two weeks of upset and sickness, I saw a glimpse of my son’s normal self.

Again it’s difficult to say what is normal for a one year old baby as they still aren’t developed enough to really know what their personality is.  There are far too many other factors that alter them (teething, injections, moods of older siblings, moving countries, inability to move) and make them appear to be a certain way (moody, sad, scared, unsettled, frustrated).  Put it this way, I wouldn’t want to describe Jackson’s personality based on the last two weeks – he has not looked good!

So this afternoon, when there seemed to be no discomfort or pain effecting him, my boy was cheeky, bold and happy.  He also pooed in his potty, ate some food and played with his toys – normal.  I really do hope this lasts for a while – I am shattered.

12 hours later….

Half past midnight and Jackson begins a screaming fest that lasts two hours – may this not be the norm!  We go in to check, go through the list;

• nappy – clear
• temperature – none
• hot cheeks – nope
• head wedged against cot – in central position
• monster under the bed – no sign

So we give a cautionary spoon of paracetamol (sneaky teething I hate you) and go back to bed – he must self soothe! 20 minutes later I’ve given in (I need to sleep!!) and I’m rocking him into a calm state.  He’s fine! Put him down.  20 minutes later Gareth is in rocking. He’s asleep until he is put down. 20 minutes later Gareth is back in. Half past two and he is asleep.

Our conclusion is he does not like to be awake and alone.  Where has this come from? Will this last? Do we really have to leave him for two hours without comfort to get him to re-learn to self-soothe?

The answer is of course making a plan (Daddy is plumping for boot camp) and then riding it out with a few “tweaks” to the original plan as we go along.  I know that this behaviour will not last.  Minnie had these “blips” and she is a strong sleeper now (did not stir during the two hours of wailing last night) and there is nothing really to say Jackson won’t go the same way – other than he is most certainly more keen on our company than she ever was.

This is what I mean about normal…what is it when it’s always changing?

This may well be one of the hardest weeks in my career as a mother.

Starts off, after a shaky weekend following vaccinations, with Jackson still being curiously grumpy.  After five days of Jackson rejecting almost all foods and being downright miserable, I Googled Hepatitis B, just to make sure it wasn’t worth taking our chances and sacking off vaccinations for the real thing.  But it looks pretty nasty so we’ll brave the next batch of injections.

By Thursday I’ve really had quite enough of all this sadness dragging us down so off we go to the GP.  “Doctor won’t do my leg mummy?” inquires my little girl as we walk into the waiting room. “No sweetheart” (I’m officially dreading the next lot of those things!). Turns out Jackson has tonsillitis – almost relieved as that means there’s a chance we won’t have this much upset next month.  He’s on antibiotics and should be better for the weekend, which is nice for daddy but I can’t help feeling a little bitter about the fact I’ve had to do the week of despair alone.

Having suffered a week of all the attention being directed at Jackson and on the day when he becomes a little less demanding Minnie decides to give me hell!  Attitude, stick waving at friends in the park, repetitive use of “no” and “go away”, insolence and blatant cheek have been my Friday.  Eventually, after a horrific trip round the supermarket ending in a defiant (she looked me right in the eye when she was doing it) weeing on the floor, I lay down the law, explain her behaviour has been shocking all day and her attitude needs to change.  After a pretty stern telling off she replies calmly “yes your majesty” – I knew ten episodes a day of Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom was going to back fire on me.

Our day ended with Jackson crying all the way to the cot, Minnie going to bed with absolutely no TV and me and Gareth ordering pizza in.  Please please let next week be better.

Even though we were all up to date in the UK my poor little babes are now facing rounds of immunisations, for Hepatitis B. Like every other mother I dread them.  The actual injection when you have to grip your child as the nurse stabs them, the feeling “delicate” for the rest of the day and in the case of my poor son, the loss of appetite leading to trouble having a poo.

They had their injections on Thursday, four days later and Jackson is still not himself.  And in three weeks time we have to go through it all again, then four weeks later another one.  A month after that he will be 15 months and due his MMR.

So whilst I am still reeling from the horrors that are baby immunisations I would just like to say – anyone who doesn’t get their child immunised is selfish and spineless. And you’re very welcome that the rest of us put our children through this to make sure the population doesn’t suffer from epidemics of the 19th century!

The great thing about children, and in particular ones that are below four, they are not afraid to do things slightly different to how everyone else is doing them.

Take Minnie and her new best friend Ethan.  They both have matching scooters (it’s like they were meant to be) and they are learning to ride them.  Like me, you might think that the best way to learn to ride a scooter is to listen to instruction, watch how mummy does it and then have a go yourself.  But Minnie and Ethan aren’t like you or I, no they like to think outside of the box.  On their journey of scooter discovery they like to do this…

I have no idea how long this phase of learning to “ride” a scooter is going to last but I am believing that it’s a brief warming up to actually putting feet on the scooter and attempting to push oneself in a forward motion.  One can only hope.

In the meantime I am trying to work out a way to safely strap Jackson onto it so I have both hands free whilst out and about with the children.

Only messing.

Maybe the change bag though?